Sunday, September 14, 2008

Draft

That’s why we have to change for the sake of the environment

Can we continue to live like nothing has happened when the climate of the earth gets warmer and warmer? What should and can we do as individuals to save our planet? How much do we have to sacrifice? And how much are we willing to give?
Those are questions that some of us hear daily and some of us just don’t care about. But we have to take those questions seriously. Both human and animals will get affected by the climate changes. The effects caused by heat-waves and the affects on the spreads of infections are problems that’s worrying. If the average temperature is rising it will be possible to grow more kinds of crops but we will also get changes in the flora and fauna that will affect the whole ecosystem. And without snow, ice and the unique assets of a country, a lot of countries will lose a lot of their tourists.
The ice around the poles are melting faster and faster and I think that all of us knows that this will make the level of the oceans rise and places that are located in areas near the water will be more vulnerable when the sea levels rises. We will also start to see more landslides and hurricanes as an effect of the environmental changes.
I believe that it’s impossible to keep on living like nothing has happened when the climate is changing. All of us have to take are responsibility for what’s going on around us. To just keep on living the way we use to do is not going to work out when the conditions are changing. Reality will finally catch up with the people who are running. It’s time to stop squander and start sacrificing.
But I believe that it’s not too late. If we just stop blaming each other and try doing something ourselves we can still make a change.
We can start sorting our waste products, buy fewer clothes, take the bus instead of the car and turn of the lights when we walk out the room. We can take the train on our vacation instead of the aircraft, we can take the bike to the store, we can take the food out of the freezer one day before we’re supposed to eat it to let it defrost instead of just putting the food in the microwave and we can use better energy sources.
I believe that everybody can do something and if every single person does one thing that will be a lot in the whole race. I believe that nobody wants to take the blame of the death of the world but as it looks now, everybody is responsible.
I try to do my best in these questions. I try to take the bus and the bike instead of the car, I try to turn of the lights when I don’t need them and I try to sorting my waste products. And I don’t find it that hard.
I believe that everybody wants to make a difference and I believe that today is the day to make it.

3 comments:

Lexi said...

I understand your point you are making about the enviroment. I believe that you are trying to show people that they can change for the better and when they do change the world will change with them as well. Your examples show exatcly what you are trying to do. Very good examples.

You got your point across well. Your points of how bad the earth is really being damaged could be turned up a notch. people wont really believe what you saying unless you throw it smack in their face.

To direct you for example put a fact out done by a respected study. Show the exact statistic how much the ice is melting and the affects of the slowly rising climate. With thoughs facts no one will be able to turn a head to the point you are making.

.. God Job =] !!

Lexi said...

to add since my teacher asked me to reread your paper ... It would be better if you were to organize you paper better. Dont get me wrong your paper is organized enough but its better to put all strong idea together in one paragraph so when the reader reads it they are strongly moved by each paragraph instead of reading your work and only thinking of some strong point you made in your essay.

Your thesis statment could be stronger. I understand it takes a whole paper to really develope a strong statment but instead of having that tag line tie that in to the first paragraph with some detail instead of having it just questiions. To many questions might direct the reder away from the real idea or point you feel so strongly about

dr.mason said...

You state your beleif in a few different ways, which might confuse soe readers. For instance, some might say your belief is that we have to take environmental issues seriously, that climate change will affect humans and animals, or that we have to change the way we are living. Any of these would work, although I think the last one is a bit nmore specific.

Right now,the main thing missing from this is any type of narrative or story. It's not clear how this belief is related to your own experience, or what kind of expeirence you could use to help explore your belief.

Another way to think about this is you want to keep this from becoming a persuasive essay about global warming and keep it as an inquiry into your own belief system and experiences. So, I would ignore the commenter's idea of including statistics about ice melt unless those statistics are part of an individual experience that shaped this belief for you. The commenter's advice that too many questions at the beginning may distact readers from your main point is worth considering. But make sure you also don't let yourself get distracted by the opportunity to spread your belief, and focus more on understanding them.